


Everything has Changed

by emperorpenguin (dortmundbvbbabe)



Series: Maybe You Could Love Me Too [2]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 10:43:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12363969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dortmundbvbbabe/pseuds/emperorpenguin
Summary: Nolan said he wasn't afraid of having the tough conversations, of course he meant that in terms of hockey and not his personal life. When Ivan invited him to lunch, though, after practice, Nolan didn't expect him to want to start where they left off in Brandon, and Nolan certainly didn't expect to have to tell him that he'd already moved on.





	Everything has Changed

Nolan said that he didn’t mind having the tough conversations, and he didn’t, as a captain, but these conversations were not the type that he liked having in his personal life. He didn’t know that when Ivan pulled him aside after practice, that he was bound to have a difficult conversation. Ivan sidled up behind him, his hair still dripping with water after his shower, and smiled. He seemed on edge, but Nolan thought that he might be imagining it since it had been over a year since he’d been in close proximity to Ivan. 

“Can we grab lunch?” Ivan asked.

“Yeah, anyone else coming?” Nolan asked.

“I was actually hoping that I could talk to you about something,” Ivan said. 

Nolan’s face scrunched up in curiosity. Usually, it was him going to Ivan for advice or help, not the other way around. 

“It’s nothing bad, I don’t think,” Ivan said as he tried to quell Nolan’s wandering thoughts.

“Didn’t you bring Travis?” Nolan asked.

“He’s going home with Ghost, I think,” Ivan said.

“Oh, okay. Is there anywhere in particular that you wanted to go?” Nolan asked.

“Not really, there’s a Greek restaurant nearby that’s pretty good if you didn’t have any other place in mind.”

“That’s good for me,” Nolan said.

 

“So how are you liking Philly?” Ivan asked when they got their food. 

“I like it, it’s a good sports city, larger than Brandon at least.”  
Ivan smiled at the reference to the city that they had once called home. 

“Brandon wasn’t all that bad, though.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Nolan agreed. It wasn’t necessarily the city that he would have chosen, but it was the city that made him. He wouldn’t have been here, in Philly, as the second overall draft pick without Brandon. 

“I saw what you had said about me,” Ivan said. He blushed slightly as he focused on his food. “You said I was the best player you’d ever played with by miles.”

“Damn, I was hoping that I wouldn’t have feed your already too-large ego.”

“Did you mean it?” Ivan asked.

“Yeah, I mean things are different now in the NHL, but you’re my go-to guy, you always have been.”

“Back in Brandon…” Ivan said. 

“Yeah, but now too, I mean, you’re still developing but you’re going to be great. You’re already our best blue-liner.

“You know I was really happy when you were drafted second,” Ivan said. He said it so innocently that Nolan couldn’t be offended by it.

“Yeah?” Nolan said.

“I wanted you to come to Philly. I mean, I wanted you to be drafted first, you should have been drafted first, but I’m glad you came here, I wanted to play with you again.”

“It makes it easier, knowing someone here,” Nolan said. 

“I’m glad,” Ivan said, “You know I have a lot of good memories about Brandon. About the team… about you and I… ”

For the first time that day, Nolan felt wary about where the conversation was heading. “Ivan…” Nolan said gently.

“I know that things ended… in Brandon, but we didn’t really break up, it just, I was in Philly and you were still there…” Ivan said.

“I mean, you weren’t waiting for me, though,” Nolan said.

“No, I know, and I don’t expect that you were alone the entire time, but I mean, there’s a reason that we’re on the same team again, right?” Ivan asked. 

Nolan glanced around the restaurant to make sure they were still secluded as they had been before. “I think we should talk about this at my place.”  
Ivan paid the bill even though Nolan had fought to pay for his share of the tab and they drove separately to Nolan’s apartment. Nolan tried to figure out what to say in the short privacy of the ride knowing that Ivan was just a few cars behind him. It was these types of conversations that he hated. 

He parked and waited for Ivan to enter his apartment building. Ivan was walking up to him from his car and he looked so happy and hopeful and Nolan knew that he wouldn’t be feeling the same way when he left.

“Ivan, how do you want things?” Nolan said when they were seated with a conspicuous distance between them. 

“I want us, together again,” Ivan said. 

Nolan gave a soft smile, “We weren’t together before, though, not really.”

“Then I want to do it right this time,” Ivan said, “I love you.”

Ivan’s frankness was one of the best parts about his personality, but him saying outright stunned Nolan. He hadn’t realized in the restaurant that Ivan’s feelings ran deeper than a steady hookup or a crush at most. 

“What about TK?” Nolan asked.

“It’s not… we have- had an arrangement,” Ivan said, “But there’s nothing there, you know.”

Nolan frowned, there was something there, at least on TK’s part, but he wasn’t going to divulge that. 

“You are my best friend, Ivan, but I can’t…” Nolan said.

“Please Nolan, just give me another chance,” Ivan begged. 

“There’s- I’m not looking for a relationship right now,” Nolan said.

“So I’ll wait until things settle down, it’ll just be a few more months, no big deal.”

“No, uh, I’m  _ in  _ a relationship now, Ivan.”

“Is it serious?” Ivan asked thickly.

“Kind of,” Nolan shrugged. “Look, anyone would be so, so lucky to date you, Ivan, but I can’t.” 

“Right, right, uh, I’m going to go,” Ivan said, unable to meet Nolan’s eyes. 

“Okay,” Nolan said. He knew that it was always hard to be rejected no matter how kind or gentle he’d tried to be. But for as much as people wrote about heartbreak, they never wrote how hard it was to break people's’ hearts. That was why Nolan hated conversations like these. 


End file.
